Mean Gene
Mean Gene
Pittsburgh's most decorated poker blogger, which I admit is like being the best shortstop in Greenland

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My Articles

Presto, the Arlo, & the Hammer
An Online Code of Conduct
The Ethics of Ratholing
"The Professor, the Banker..."
"Ace on the River"

My Columns

Lose the Shades
If You Can't Say Something Nice
Whither the Kicker
The Lady is a Champ?
Covering the WSOP (or not)
Statistics, Luck, and Poker
Poker and New Orleans
Managing a Bankroll
How To Tell A Bad Beat Story
Telling Lies
The Power of Poker Tracker
Advanced Card-Handling

My Greatest Hits

5 Things To Do Before I Die
Cafeteria Nostalgia
Mean Gene's Dubious Dating Tips
Poker and Business?
There's No Such Thing As Luck?
Isabelle, Je t'adore
No Shirt No Shoes No Service
Well, The Food Was Good
Good Morning, Mr. Matusow!
The Weekend of our Discontent, I
The Weekend of our Discontent, II
Books That Left Their Mark
Ode to a Fish Sandwich
Bill Simmons Ain't the Poker Guy
The Sports Guy Still Ain't the Poker Guy
Again, The Media Tackles Poker
Five Years After 9/11
Hitting Pretty Girls in the Face
Sixth-Graders Suck

Fellow Poker Bloggers

Guinness and Poker
Cards Speak
Tao of Poker
Up for Poker
Boy Genius
Chris Halverson
Poker Grub
The Fat Guy
Todd Commish
Poker Works
Bill Rini
Bad Blood
Love and Casino War
Double As
Lion Tales
Paul Phillips
Daniel Negreanu
Poker Nerd
Poker Nation
Poker in Arrears
Human Head
Sound of a Suckout
Chicks With Chips
TP's Table Talk
Royal Poker
This is Not A Poker Blog
Chick and a Chair
Go Be Rude
Poker Cheapskate
Poker & Other Stuff
Seven Two
Musical Poker
WPBT Online
Isabelle Mercier
Cardschat Blog
Amy Calistri
BJ Nemeth
Annie's Blog

Poker Sites

Cardschat Poker Forum
Barstool Sports
Card Player
Internet Texas Hold-Em
Poker Pages


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    Monday, January 05, 2004

    I need your vote!

    Richard Nixon famously financed his first Congressional campaign with money he won playing poker. While in the Navy the future Tricky Dick saw his fellow officers playing poker and was astonished at how much money was changing hands. Gambling was verboten to a Quaker like himself, but already Nixon was showing the, ah, moral flexibilty that was to haunt him later in life. He learned to play, learned to play very well, and made a bundle. He put his poker winning to use, was elected, and the rest is history (or infamy, depending on how you look at it).

    Why do I bring this up? Because, my fellow poker junkies, yesterday I announced that I am a candidate for the Presidency of the United States of America. I just turned 35, making me qualified for the job, and I think it's my duty as a citizen to run for the highest office in the land. And I think it's important that a poker player have the job. Think about it--who better to stare down the Kim Jong Ils and Osama bin Ladens of the world than a guy who has capped the betting after a check-raise on the river while holding nothing better than bottom pair--and WON?

    And let's face facts, the leading candidates out there wouldn't exactly intimidate you at the table. George Bush would have a cheat-sheet that lists hand rankings, and you know he'd have Donald Rumsfeld and Karl Rove sweating him and clearing their throats and shaking their heads every time he reached for his chips. Howard Dean? Come on, the guy is one tough hand away from tilt. Say something like, "You know, I heard Vermont is just Canada without doughnuts", or, "If Ethan Allen and the Green Mountain Boys were around today, they'd be up before the UN War Crimes Tribunal". And then sit back and wait for the steaming Governor Dean to raise you with 2-6 offsuit.

    So vote for me, and I promise to bring a smart, honest, grinding attitude to the White House. Halliburton wants a multi-billion dollar contract in Iraq? Let them ante and play the game like everyone else. Some tinhorn dictator or terrorist threatens? I won't fold the hand, I'm gonna be like Scotty Nguyen and go all-in, bay-bee! Come on, be honest--wouldn't you like to see us nuke someone again? Just a little bomb, a few kilotons?

    So vote for Mean Gene, and my first act as Prez will be the legalization of poker rooms in all 50 states. That's how I plan to fund my re-election campaign--I get a taste of the rake, just a taste, enough to wet my beak. I'm sure I can get more cash that way than the GOP can raise shaking down businessmen and corporations.

    Mean Gene in 2004! Come on, vote for me, or else you might be facing a Phil Hellmuth candidacy in 2008. get this widget Please visit Pokernews site for more poker news, poker strategy articles or poker rules.

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