Mean Gene
Mean Gene
Pittsburgh's most decorated poker blogger, which I admit is like being the best shortstop in Greenland

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My Articles

Presto, the Arlo, & the Hammer
An Online Code of Conduct
The Ethics of Ratholing
"The Professor, the Banker..."
"Ace on the River"

My Columns

Lose the Shades
If You Can't Say Something Nice
Whither the Kicker
The Lady is a Champ?
Covering the WSOP (or not)
Statistics, Luck, and Poker
Poker and New Orleans
Managing a Bankroll
How To Tell A Bad Beat Story
Telling Lies
The Power of Poker Tracker
Advanced Card-Handling

My Greatest Hits

5 Things To Do Before I Die
Cafeteria Nostalgia
Mean Gene's Dubious Dating Tips
Poker and Business?
There's No Such Thing As Luck?
Isabelle, Je t'adore
No Shirt No Shoes No Service
Well, The Food Was Good
Good Morning, Mr. Matusow!
The Weekend of our Discontent, I
The Weekend of our Discontent, II
Books That Left Their Mark
Ode to a Fish Sandwich
Bill Simmons Ain't the Poker Guy
The Sports Guy Still Ain't the Poker Guy
Again, The Media Tackles Poker
Five Years After 9/11
Hitting Pretty Girls in the Face
Sixth-Graders Suck

Fellow Poker Bloggers

Guinness and Poker
Cards Speak
Tao of Poker
Up for Poker
Boy Genius
Chris Halverson
Poker Grub
The Fat Guy
Todd Commish
Poker Works
Bill Rini
Bad Blood
Love and Casino War
Double As
Lion Tales
Paul Phillips
Daniel Negreanu
Poker Nerd
Poker Nation
Poker in Arrears
Human Head
Sound of a Suckout
Chicks With Chips
TP's Table Talk
Royal Poker
This is Not A Poker Blog
Chick and a Chair
Go Be Rude
Poker Cheapskate
Poker & Other Stuff
Seven Two
Musical Poker
WPBT Online
Isabelle Mercier
Cardschat Blog
Amy Calistri
BJ Nemeth
Annie's Blog

Poker Sites

Cardschat Poker Forum
Barstool Sports
Card Player
Internet Texas Hold-Em
Poker Pages


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    Tuesday, January 06, 2004

    Worst show ever

    Even as I write this I'm watching Celebrity Poker on Bravo, and...Good God. What a horrible show. I mean, I play poker, right? I like watching poker. I write a friggin poker blog, for Chrissakes. And even I can't watch this crap.

    It isn't just that these people (with the exception of the lovely Mimi Rogers) can't play worth a damn. They can't play AT ALL. The dude who's the lead singer from Creed (whoever they are) couldn't figure out what he had. He was bragging about having Queens and Eights when Mimi Rogers had pocket kings to go with the eights on the board. And when he learned he was losing he acted like he was being cheated.

    Couldn't Bravo have found a few celebrities who, at the very least, know the ranking of hands? This might have been an entertaining show if they all could have played with as much skill as Mimi Rogers, and looked as good doing it. But these idiots don't have a clue.

    And they aren't interesting to listen to. They aren't funny, they aren't sponteneous, they're...BORING. Very, very boring. Other than Mimi's animal-print blouse and sexy smile (have I made it clear I have a thing for Mimi Rogers?) and wondering what the hell happened to Carrie Fisher, there isn't much to talk about on this show.

    Actually, what the hell DID happen to Carrie Fisher. When did she get little-ol-lady disease, with the cheaters and the frumpy hairdo? She and Rogers are probably close to the same age, but Fisher looks...grandmotherly. It was only 20 years ago that she was wearing a brass bikini in Return of the Jedi and making teenage boys feel all funny. And now...whoa. And where the hell did she get that blouse? A sanitarium for clothiers?

    And I've been ripping on Phil Gordon, but this was his worst episode by far, and that's saying something. Kevin Pollack tried bantering with Phil, saying, "If I saw you sitting down at my table, I'd play...blackjack."

    And Phil says, "Or video poker". What a witty comeback! What banter! The Martin and Lewis of our generation! Later, when listing the chip counts, Phil says that the former Princess Leia needs help from Obi-Wan Kenobi. Bwahahahaha!!!! He's just ghastly, he looks frozen by the camera lens, his smile is so forced you'd think he'd just messed his pants. He's terrible.

    And this is not a guy who's a walking stiff. Read about his escapades as a Tiltboy and have a big laugh. My favorite part was when Gordon and his buddies are playing before they head to the airport for their flight to Vegas, and this guy hits a huge out to win the hand. As his friend steams Phil congratulates the guy, telling him what a great play he made, and then says, "Hey, how 'bout you buy me a beer? Buy me a beer with his money!" he says while pointing as his now-livid friend. Great stuff. And you see none of it, and I mean NONE, on this show.

    My God, the finale is a 2-hour special. And I don't think Mimi is gonna make it. At least with her and Nicole Sullivan there'd be something to look at. And those two ladies were probably the best players on the whole show, tho Mimi is going out. Crap.

    Wish I was a celebrity so I could go on this show and humiliate these guys. Actually, I'd probably humiliate myself fawning over Mimi. I like her, but you know that about me. get this widget Please visit Pokernews site for more poker news, poker strategy articles or poker rules.

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