Mean Gene

Just call me Andy Glazer

This Saturday I'll probably be playing in my first live no-limit tournament. They have these charity no-limit tournaments here in the 'Burgh (tho, I believe, its not a criminal scam like the ones in Cleveland Iggy posted an article on awhile back). The buy-in is $100, which I'll take from my massive bankroll and try for a big payday. (Almost certainly) failing that, I'm going to write an article about the tournament and get something published. Hey, if I do that, can I write the buy-in off my taxes as a business expense?

I'm excited about playing live, tho I'm no doubt riven with tells that will give my opponents a huge advantage. Then again, they've never seen me, I've never seen them, so we should be even. I'll get my mirrored aviator shades and fedora and intimate them that way. Or, not. I think I'll just play au natural and take my chances that way, rather than look like a WPT-wanna-be loser.

Hopefully I'll last long enough to get some info for a piece, although I would of course have no problems with placing in the money and coming back next week to write my article. The tourney is held at a country club near where I used to live, and a player I now work with (who I've been studying the last few days looking for tells) said they have a nice card room and overall swanky facilities. He's playing as well, and assures me that the fuzz won't break down the doors and cart us off the the hoosegow.

I've only played in two multi-table tournaments--the Grublog Classic and last week's PJK tourney. I placed 1st and 3rd, good results that unfortunately cannot be used to accurately predict how I'll do Saturday. Anyone who reads this and has any advice on how to play live tourneys as opposed to online let me know. I'm thinking about getting a T-shirt made up that reads, "I'm in your head". I think that would help.

My strategy will be the same as it's been the two times I played online--get in the money and worry about winning then. I'm patient by nature and have no problems folding for hours at a time (well, maybe not hours), so I want to take some time to see what I'm up against and then start making my moves. I don't know if these things are loose or tight or in-between, tho I heard on 150-player tournament took 8 hours to finish, so this isn't a Party-caliber nutfest. I'll have to use my intelligence guided by experience, I guess.

I have volleyball tonight, so probably no poker tonight. Actually, played basketball tonight and nearly ended my volleyball playing for a few months, my right leg locked up and I thought I'd blown out my knee. I'm grossly out of shape, and the floor was slippy (some Pittsburghese there) and I think my knee went a little out of whack and my thigh and calf muscles seized up. It took me like 5 steps before I finally staggered to the floor and my knee went "click!" and returned to normal position. It was a weird feeling, I thought for a second I was passing out, and when I hit the floor I was waiting for the big pain to hit, but it never did, and everything seems to be OK. My thigh and calf are sore as hell, but my knee's fine.

But I digress. I may play a little tonight, but doubtful. Tomorrow I'll play a few SNGs to sharpen my no-limit claws, read a little Brunson, and get mentally prepared to crush my opponents. I have to work on peeking at my cards, at acting deliberately, at making appropriate raises, at playing aggressive. Dropping a hundred bucks only to get knocked out on a bad beat 15 minutes in would royally suck. Still, that's why I'm attending as a journalist/player.

I've been on an ice-cold streak, I think I ended March only up $20 or so. But I've won a little bit the last few sessions, and last night ended up a whole $5 thanks to a hand I think I played rather well. I was in the BB and was dealt K2 offsuit. No one raised and I checked this massive hand in the hopes of hitting the flop. And hit it I did--K-K-6. Here I did something I thought subtle and clever--I clicked the button to automatically check, giving the illusion that I was disgusted by the flop and was merely waiting for a bet so I could fold and get on with the next hand. There were 4 of us in, and the last guy bet a buck. We all called it. An ace on the flop, making 3 hearts on the board, and again I checked. The original bettor tossed in three bucks. Fold, fold, and I smoooooth-called. Well, there was still the possibilty the guy had K-3 or something and was afraid I had him outkicked...until a third king popped up on the river.

Here I made a play that I'm sure many will find controversial. I checked. Now, I'd given this guy the lead the whole hand, and I feared that if I bet out he'd muck. So I checked, and sure enough he bet another $3. I paused a bit, decided how much money he'd part with, and raised him $6. I didn't think he'd call if I put him all-in or made a giant bet, so $6 I thought was the max bet he'd feel compelled to call. Which he did, and I showed him the case king. That's the only nice hand I won, and it gave me the $5 profit I banked. Felt good.

So come on, you experienced B&M players, advise me! Should I refrain from showering so that my rancid odeur distracts those next to me? Should I play the whole tournament speaking like Scotty Nguyen ("Michelob...keep it coming, baaayyyy-beeeee!")? Gimme some help here!

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