I Am A Complete Idiot
I had a great day today, got some good news that tickled me pink, made me feel better than I've felt in a long time. But the good news post will have to wait a day or so, and instead I will berate myself for playing some completely unacceptable poker in the hopes that the venting will allow me to sleep tonight.
I finished clearing my Empire bonus today, with a total profit of five bucks. I think the last 19 times I've worked off bonuses I've gone into total freefall, but I did end up with a profit so I guess I can't complain.
Then I sat in a $10 2-table SNG. I quickly doubled up with AA against a guy who called with pocket sixes, and knocked out another guy to build my stack up nicely. Went on a bit of a dry streak a bled a lot of chips away, but then I stole some pots, knocked a guy out with 44 to his K-10, and with 6 to go I had about $3700 and a pretty good shot to cash and push for the win.
So why did I go mental and give 3/4 of my stack away on a bluff? OK, I had to pee. But I know I could've held it, I know
I had A-9 in the BB and when the SB raised it I raised him back. He called, and the flop came K-8-6. I had no piece of the flop, I still had about $3000 left, I could've just walked away from this hand no problem. He bet $300, which I though was him trying to steal it, and I lost it and pushed all-in. He thought about it for about 20 seconds, which convinced me I had the hand won...until he called and turned over K-4. I got no help, and all those chips I'd worked so hard to win slid one slot to my left. I went all-in the next hand, lost my coin flip, and was done.
This has been my SNG problem lately. I play well, really well, just about the whole way. And then I blow all my chips on one ludicrous hand. I think I'm confusing "insanity" with "heart". I know that before you can live you have to be willing to die. But what I'm doing is sharpening the blade on the guillotine, oiling the mechanisms, filling the basket with wood shavings, and loading my coconut into the stocks. I think I'm being clever and aggressive, and instead I'm bluffing off all my chips.
Sigh. I may shift my play back to the SNGs at Stars, I like their structure better, especially as my ring play is pathetic right now. Man, my game stinks on ice right now.
But, as I said, I did have a spot of good news today which turned my normally gray skies to blue, so I guess I can deal with an SNG meltdown. I'll post about that tomorrow. For now, I'm goin' to sleep and dream of ponies.