Mean Gene

Grigori Rasputin and Daisy Duke--a discussion

As you scroll down the title above shall make some sense. Or, more likely, it won't. A lazy Saturday afternoon, with my wife and all 3 cats determined to sleep away the daylight hours, translated into some profitable poker play. I actually WON a little playing a $.50/$1 ring game (first time in 217 attempts) and cashed in 3 out of 5 SNG's, including one win and a 2nd in a 2-table tourney. Boosted my bankroll nearly 30%, which shows the depths I plunged to.

Two hands are worth relating. In the multi that I came runner-up I actually had no business being there in the end. About 10 hands in I was dealt AA and lost 1/2 my stack to a guy who made trip 7s on the river. Ouch. I ended up with only $500 or so and was dealt 2-9 in the big blind. I called with 4 other players and the flop came K-8-7. The chip leader bet out, the next two players folded, and I decided to bluff at the pot and either get some chips or get knocked out and start over. He calls, and turns over aces. Ouch. "Guess you caught me" I typed, forgetting that at Stars chat is suspended when you're all-in. A six on the turn, and I got up to hit the head. And then, of course, a five on the river and I made my embarrassing straight. The chip leader duly freaked, I admitted I was halfway to the bathroom. From there I slew my foes like so many...foes, though when it got heads up I was outchipped about 6-1. I made a play the first hand, he called with bottom pair, and that was that.

The 2nd hand bugged me. I was down below $1000 and raised with AK. Guy raised me back, but not much, and I decided what the hell, if you have aces you have aces. I pushed all-in and he called. With AQ, both spades. So I have him dominated...oh, no I don't. Flop comes all spades and I'm toast. "Nice flop" I type, and he replies, "That's what you get for going all-in with AK".

Now, did I miss something here? I go all-in with AK, he CALLS with AQ, and he's criticizing ME? This is something I've seen quite a few times playing at the lower-limits (I believe in some circles it's called "Ariehing", of course after some of the comments Josh Arieh made during the last WSOP). Last week I witnessed a guy blasting another player for going all-in after flopping the top set. "You had to know I was on a flush draw" the guy sneered. Uh, you do know that you were the underdog there, right? Not that I brought it up to him, of course. Let him learn at his own time, which hopefully will never come.

Some folks really need to broaden their horizons. I was sitting at a table and a guy had a picture of Rasputin as his avatar. Now, I can understand people not recognizing a picture of the Mad Monk (espeically one this small), but one player asked if it was a picture of Jesus. The guy replied it wasn't, and I said it looked like Rasputin. "Who's Rasputin" the original guy asked. I'd think most folks would've heard of him, wouldn't you?

I read something once that alleged Rasputin, who slept with basically anything in a babushka, had a 17-inch penis. If I ever had the chance to speak to Grigori, I think I'd pose the same question I said I'd ask John Juanda--"Who's your tailor?". Not that I have Rasputin's, you know, but how exactly does one get along with...you know. Maybe I should just get out a copy of the "Upright Citizen's Brigade" and watch the "Little Donnie" episode.

Sorry, sort of going of the rails here. Iggy posted something about CMT offering $100K for someone to blog about "The Dukes of Hazzard". This sounds about as plausible as one of those Nigerian e-mail scams, but apparently it's true. I can't say that I watched DOH too often, but I watched enough to ask this question--Has there ever, in the history of American televsion, been a hotter woman on the screen than Catherine Bach? I would have to answer "no". I don't think our species could do a better job. Maybe there are women who one could say were AS hot, but are there any who could top Daisy Duke? For God's sake, her very name has entered the vernacular. If I heard correctly there's a DOH movie in the works with Jessica Simpson playing Daisy, which is like hearing that an escapee from the Alpo Works was the horse who played "Seabiscuit".

I posted 27 times during February, and I wondered how I managed to come up with so much stuff. I just answered my own question--I write garbage like this. What's the mystery?

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