Mean Gene
Mean Gene
Pittsburgh's most decorated poker blogger, which I admit is like being the best shortstop in Greenland



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My Articles

Presto, the Arlo, & the Hammer
An Online Code of Conduct
The Ethics of Ratholing
"Moneymaker"
"The Professor, the Banker..."
"Ace on the River"

My Columns

Lose the Shades
If You Can't Say Something Nice
Whither the Kicker
The Lady is a Champ?
Covering the WSOP (or not)
Statistics, Luck, and Poker
Poker and New Orleans
Managing a Bankroll
How To Tell A Bad Beat Story
Telling Lies
The Power of Poker Tracker
Advanced Card-Handling

My Greatest Hits

5 Things To Do Before I Die
Cafeteria Nostalgia
Mean Gene's Dubious Dating Tips
Poker and Business?
There's No Such Thing As Luck?
Isabelle, Je t'adore
No Shirt No Shoes No Service
Well, The Food Was Good
Good Morning, Mr. Matusow!
The Weekend of our Discontent, I
The Weekend of our Discontent, II
Books That Left Their Mark
Ode to a Fish Sandwich
Bill Simmons Ain't the Poker Guy
The Sports Guy Still Ain't the Poker Guy
Again, The Media Tackles Poker
Five Years After 9/11
Hitting Pretty Girls in the Face
Sixth-Graders Suck

Fellow Poker Bloggers

Guinness and Poker
Cards Speak
Tao of Poker
Up for Poker
Boy Genius
Chris Halverson
LasVegasVegas
Anisotropy
Felicia
AlCan'tHang
EvaCanHang
Poker Grub
Maudie
StudioGlyphic
PokErrata
The Fat Guy
Todd Commish
Drizztdj
SirFWALGMan
Poker Works
Bill Rini
Bad Blood
Love and Casino War
Double As
Lion Tales
Paul Phillips
Daniel Negreanu
Ftrain
Poker Nerd
Poker Nation
Ammbo
Poker in Arrears
DonkeyPuncher
Human Head
Sound of a Suckout
Chicks With Chips
TP's Table Talk
Royal Poker
This is Not A Poker Blog
Dragonystic
Daddy
Chick and a Chair
Mourn
Go Be Rude
JoeSpeaker
Poker Cheapskate
Meek
Mr.Parx
Change100
PokerWolf
Haley
Falstaff
Gydyon
Franklstein
Poker & Other Stuff
Seven Two
Musical Poker
Kipper
WPBT Online
Isabelle Mercier
Cardschat Blog
Amy Calistri
BJ Nemeth
Annie's Blog

Poker Sites

Cardschat Poker Forum
PokerMagazine
Barstool Sports
Card Player
PokerTV
TwoPlusTwo
Internet Texas Hold-Em
Poker Pages
Poker-News

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    Wednesday, June 15, 2005

    When NOT To Gamble

    I like playing poker, but I'm not much of a gambler. I haven't liked horse racing since I took a pony ride as a kid and the animal deposited a fragrant 13-pound dump next to a girl I was sweet on. I can't calculate the tip on a dinner check in my head, so how am I gonna count cards at blackjack?

    But last night I decided to gamble it up a little bit--and I lost. Oh, how I lost.

    Went to a local sports bar to watch my Bucs battle the Evil Empire. I was in the mood for a burger, and after all the trip reports I've read it's no wonder that I settled on one called the "Las Vegas Burger". Bacon, BBQ sauce, chedder cheese. Sounded like a winner. Plus, and here's the tricky part, after you finish you get to roll the dice to see how much you have to pay. Roll a seven, it's $3.99. Roll an eleven, it's free. Anything else, seven bucks.

    Well, all right! Let's gamble, baby. Ate the burger, it was very good. As were the fries. Good dinner. My third beer was about to meet its destiny when our very pretty waitress came up with the hostess and the dice. All eyes turned to Mean Gene, who gave the bones a little shake, found a clear spot, and made my throw with plenty of wrist.

    The first die settled on five, very nice. The second...came a three. I shot out of my chair and screamed "GODDAMMIT TO FRIGGIN' HELL!!" Well, maybe I exaggerate. "Oh well" is what I think I actually said. I shed no tears.

    There the story would end, if I hadn't woken up at about 4AM covered in sweat and shivering. Yes, I was sick as the proverbial pup. When I took my temperature it said 96.5, which I think means I need a new digital thermometer. I called off work, crashed until 11AM, and spent the rest of the day dealing with a variety of GI issues. Awesome.

    I guess I can't blame the burger with any degree of certainty (I had wings too), but it goes to show, when you gamble, there's always a risk you could lose. Sometimes your shirt...sometimes your lunch.



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