Mean Gene
Mean Gene
Pittsburgh's most decorated poker blogger, which I admit is like being the best shortstop in Greenland

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My Articles

Presto, the Arlo, & the Hammer
An Online Code of Conduct
The Ethics of Ratholing
"The Professor, the Banker..."
"Ace on the River"

My Columns

Lose the Shades
If You Can't Say Something Nice
Whither the Kicker
The Lady is a Champ?
Covering the WSOP (or not)
Statistics, Luck, and Poker
Poker and New Orleans
Managing a Bankroll
How To Tell A Bad Beat Story
Telling Lies
The Power of Poker Tracker
Advanced Card-Handling

My Greatest Hits

5 Things To Do Before I Die
Cafeteria Nostalgia
Mean Gene's Dubious Dating Tips
Poker and Business?
There's No Such Thing As Luck?
Isabelle, Je t'adore
No Shirt No Shoes No Service
Well, The Food Was Good
Good Morning, Mr. Matusow!
The Weekend of our Discontent, I
The Weekend of our Discontent, II
Books That Left Their Mark
Ode to a Fish Sandwich
Bill Simmons Ain't the Poker Guy
The Sports Guy Still Ain't the Poker Guy
Again, The Media Tackles Poker
Five Years After 9/11
Hitting Pretty Girls in the Face
Sixth-Graders Suck

Fellow Poker Bloggers

Guinness and Poker
Cards Speak
Tao of Poker
Up for Poker
Boy Genius
Chris Halverson
Poker Grub
The Fat Guy
Todd Commish
Poker Works
Bill Rini
Bad Blood
Love and Casino War
Double As
Lion Tales
Paul Phillips
Daniel Negreanu
Poker Nerd
Poker Nation
Poker in Arrears
Human Head
Sound of a Suckout
Chicks With Chips
TP's Table Talk
Royal Poker
This is Not A Poker Blog
Chick and a Chair
Go Be Rude
Poker Cheapskate
Poker & Other Stuff
Seven Two
Musical Poker
WPBT Online
Isabelle Mercier
Cardschat Blog
Amy Calistri
BJ Nemeth
Annie's Blog

Poker Sites

Cardschat Poker Forum
Barstool Sports
Card Player
Internet Texas Hold-Em
Poker Pages


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    Wednesday, August 24, 2005

    Sleeves Make the Man

    I only caught the last fifteen minutes of the Limit (or was it Pot-Limit, as my cable info window said?) Hold-Em event last night, but I saw enough to make this one pronouncement--it's virtually impossible to wear a basketball jersey and look sharp, unless you're actually standing on a basketball court. Eric Froelich won the bracelet and the title of Youngest Ever WSOP Winner, and I know that jerseys are fashionable among the kids. But tell me he didn't look ridiculous, either in his scarlet Lebron James Cavalier jersey or the one he inexplicably wore at the final table, a Kobe Bryant USA jersey. We can debate whether Bryant is a rapist or not, but after reading the transcripts of what he told police there's little to be gained in saying that he isn't a colossal scumbag. I certainly wouldn't want to be associated with him in any way, shape or form.

    I don't knock Froelich because he's a bit rotund and doesn't look like he's capable of serious hang time. Truth be told, even if you have guns that look like Michaelangelo sculpted them you're gonna look a bit silly wearing that Allan Houston (Allan Houston?) jersey. Because, and I know this is an obvious point, basketball jerseys have no sleeves. And for a man, maintaining your dignity in most social situations is difficult when you're bare-shouldered. On the beach, sure. On the court, naturally. Loafing with your buddies, OK. But whether you can do 60 pushups in a minute or you never lift anything heavier than twelve ounces, if you wear a tank top around people who are wearing sleeved shirts in anything but the most casual of settings, eventually everyone is going to think that you'd look more appropriate dancing in a cage in a gay nightclub.

    Froelich (and other people I've seen wearing hoops jerseys, including Phil Ivey) finesse this point by wearing a T-shirt underneath. This only complicates matters. Let's say you're wearing an authentic Larry Bird Celtics jersey. What color T-shirt should you wear underneath? Green? Yeah, I guess, though good luck finding a T-shirt that exactly matches Celtic green. Oh, you could just buy an official Celtics T-shirt too, but chances are it'll have logos and script on it as well, and it might show through the jersey, and whatta dork you'll look like THEN. How about white? No, 'cause then you run the risk that all that white will blend together into one besleeved whole, and it'll look like the Celts patterned their unis after the Louisiana Tech women's basketball team. Gray? Nope, too dingy. Black? Sure, wear black against white, and every stray hair, fuzz ball, and fleck of dandruff will stick out like you're under a microscope. Pretty soon you're standing in front of a mirror for 45 minutes deciding what goddam $8 T-shirt to wear under your $350 authentic game jersey. Teenage girls do that. It's not for me, Jack.

    Think to some of the great masculine heroes both in life and fiction. Humphrey Bogart didn't wear a muscle shirt as he outmaneuvered the Nazis in Casablanca. Sean Connery did not sit at the baccarat table stylin' in an Oscar Robertson jersey. Patton didn't storm across Germany in a khaki tank top. And Clint Eastwood's Man With No Name wore a serape, not a sleeveless top.

    I belabor the point, I know, but I'm fighting against the cultural tide here and I need to bring out the big guns. Football jerseys, yes. Hockey sweaters (they're not jerseys, eh), definitely. Baseball unis, OK (and yes, I know lots of teams wear sleeveless shirts, including my Pirates, but they already have T-shirts designed to go with them and, besides, they cover the shoulders). Those are all fine for all occasions, save weddings and most funerals. But I ask that you think things through, carefully, before you pull that Carmelo Anthony jersey over your head. get this widget Please visit Pokernews site for more poker news, poker strategy articles or poker rules.

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