Mean Gene
Mean Gene
Pittsburgh's most decorated poker blogger, which I admit is like being the best shortstop in Greenland

Subscribe with Bloglines

My Articles

Presto, the Arlo, & the Hammer
An Online Code of Conduct
The Ethics of Ratholing
"The Professor, the Banker..."
"Ace on the River"

My Columns

Lose the Shades
If You Can't Say Something Nice
Whither the Kicker
The Lady is a Champ?
Covering the WSOP (or not)
Statistics, Luck, and Poker
Poker and New Orleans
Managing a Bankroll
How To Tell A Bad Beat Story
Telling Lies
The Power of Poker Tracker
Advanced Card-Handling

My Greatest Hits

5 Things To Do Before I Die
Cafeteria Nostalgia
Mean Gene's Dubious Dating Tips
Poker and Business?
There's No Such Thing As Luck?
Isabelle, Je t'adore
No Shirt No Shoes No Service
Well, The Food Was Good
Good Morning, Mr. Matusow!
The Weekend of our Discontent, I
The Weekend of our Discontent, II
Books That Left Their Mark
Ode to a Fish Sandwich
Bill Simmons Ain't the Poker Guy
The Sports Guy Still Ain't the Poker Guy
Again, The Media Tackles Poker
Five Years After 9/11
Hitting Pretty Girls in the Face
Sixth-Graders Suck

Fellow Poker Bloggers

Guinness and Poker
Cards Speak
Tao of Poker
Up for Poker
Boy Genius
Chris Halverson
Poker Grub
The Fat Guy
Todd Commish
Poker Works
Bill Rini
Bad Blood
Love and Casino War
Double As
Lion Tales
Paul Phillips
Daniel Negreanu
Poker Nerd
Poker Nation
Poker in Arrears
Human Head
Sound of a Suckout
Chicks With Chips
TP's Table Talk
Royal Poker
This is Not A Poker Blog
Chick and a Chair
Go Be Rude
Poker Cheapskate
Poker & Other Stuff
Seven Two
Musical Poker
WPBT Online
Isabelle Mercier
Cardschat Blog
Amy Calistri
BJ Nemeth
Annie's Blog

Poker Sites

Cardschat Poker Forum
Barstool Sports
Card Player
Internet Texas Hold-Em
Poker Pages


  • 12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004
  • 01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004
  • 02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004
  • 03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004
  • 04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004
  • 05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
  • 06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
  • 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
  • 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
  • 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
  • 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
  • 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
  • 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
  • 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
  • 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
  • 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
  • 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
  • 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
  • 06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
  • 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
  • 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
  • 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
  • 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
  • 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
  • 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
  • 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
  • 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
  • 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
  • 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
  • 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
  • 06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
  • 07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
  • 08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
  • 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
  • 10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
  • 11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
  • 12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
  • 01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
  • 02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
  • 03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
  • 04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
  • 05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007
  • 06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007
  • 07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007

  • Powered by Blogger

    Tuesday, September 20, 2005

    Lady Luck Likes Me Fat and Drunk

    Unlucky in love, lucky in cards, so goes the saying. And if you're unlucky in both, well, you just have to suck it up, buttercup. You can't get lucky all the time. Unless you're me, and you're me at the bar I go to after volleyball Monday nights. We go to the North Park Clubhouse to drink cheap Rolling Rock and eat fried food in a variety of shapes (disks, knobs, sticks, planks) to either celebrate our wins or, more likely, ease the pain of defeat. We sit down, Ricki comes over with cups teeming with suds, and all is good in the world.

    At the start of the season you're given a card, and every time you attend it gets stamped. As time goes by you win prizes (T-shirts, glasses, gift cards) so, in a way, going there week after week isn't just about the drinking and gorging--it's an investement. I wonder if I can write off the depreciation of my life expectancy on my taxes...something to look into.

    Everyone in the bar also gets a raffle ticket, and at halftime they announce the winner of a $50 gift card. For some reason, last season everyone on my team gave me their tickets to hold, maybe they couldn't be trusted to drink AND maintain control over a 1x2 inch slip of paper. Anyway, last year I think I won three times. It got to be something of a joke, the other volleyball teams were crowded around their tables, dispatching wings and beers, and here I go again trapising up to the bar to collect my prize. Maybe we didn't win the championship last year, but we very nearly turned a profit.

    I didn't win last week, and felt slightly cheated. Don't they know who I AM? Well, of course they do, I shouldn't be so modest. The called out the number, I went down the line of tickets in my hand...yup, won again. Another fifty smackers. And when you think that beers Monday night are a buck during the game, that little plastic card means that me and my team will be nicely drunk next week, no matter how we do on the court.

    Unless...unless I just blow them off and go there for dinner tonight, all by myself. Yeah, I can see that, me sitting in one of the cozy little booths off to the side, a nice quiet spot for a couple to nibble and whisper sweet nothings, except that I'd be there all by myself, just me and a menu and an appetite. "I gotta eat me fifty dollars worth," I'll say, slapping the card down on the table. "Get that oil hot and keep it hot. 'Cause I had a hungry day."

    Nah, gluttony isn't my thing anymore. Not that I don't like the odd gorging episode, my stars, but I can't pack it away like I used to. Plus I'd like to lose about 60-100 pounds so I can actually see my fucking BMI score on the chart they keep in my doctor's office. Now, there's no goddam way I'm ever weighing 175 pounds again, short of some double-amputation. My last doctor was pretty cool about it, he told me to lose 25-30 pounds, but the idea of me getting down to 175 was, in his words, "a bit silly".

    The bar I mentioned holds free Hold-Em tournaments every Wednesday night, been thinking of popping over there some night and see what its like. I was told that they get around 9-10 tables, one tournament starting at 6:30, the last at 9:30. It's part of that National Pub Poker Tour thingy, which means it's depressingly legal (no cash to be had) but, as Nick the Greek once said, "It's action, ain't it". Well, actually, no, it ain't. But what the hell. Plus Ricki said if you order dinner you get more chips. I could use that gift card to start with a freakish stack and run over the table. Nah, don't think I could eat that much.

    There was a crackdown on charity poker tournaments here in Pittsburgh six or so months ago, but from the emails I've been getting they're still being held all over the place, just as many as before. And I've gotten emails from readers and from groups who I guess came across my blog telling me of cash games and tournaments and home games all over the area. And not penny-ante either, some mid-limit games, some non-tiddly no-limit. I'd actually like to start going to a few, but to write about, not to play in. Not at first, anyway, as my bankroll is at the moment only in theoretical form, but I'm working on a variety of writing projects and it'd be good research. Hey, if any of my local readers would like to be immortalized in print (names, places and faces discreetly disguised, of course) let me know. Just don't expect me to start playing $30/$60 when my most recent poker win involved me check-raising a guy over a platter of nachos. I need to get up to speed. get this widget Please visit Pokernews site for more poker news, poker strategy articles or poker rules.

    Play Poker Online
    Play Poker Online at Full Tilt Poker
    Learn, Chat, and Play with the Pros at the fastest growing Online Poker Room.


    Play Poker Online at Blind Bet Poker. Bonuses and promotions by online poker rooms like Doyles Room, Titan Poker, Full Tilt Poker and Noble Poker. Poker strategy for beginners, advanced, and professional poker players. A poker terminology section, news & online poker tournaments.

    Poker Forums
    Definitive online poker portal, featuring a poker odds calculator, poker forums, an excellent poker bonus code section with deposit bonuses.

    Full Tilt Poker Freerolls
    Party Poker Strategy Guide

    The 2006 WSOP
    Total Coverage
    From the Urinals to the Hooker Bar



    Poker Savvy