Mean Gene

Let's Salvage Some Dignity!

Played poker with folks from work last night, and to be honest I didn't play so poorly that I should feel ashamed. Got all my money in with QQ against A-9, and of course the flop comes A-10-2. All clubs. He had a club, I didn't. The turn is the goddam queen of clubs. So if the board pairs I win. It doesn't, and I don't. Making matters worse is that I dealt the hand myself. No biggies, I grab a beer (well, two) and wait.

So more people show up and we've got 14 players at 2 tables for the next game. I deal the first hand and give myself pocket fours. I just call with three in the pot, and the flop comes 3-4-5. A guy who isn't shy about putting his chips in the pot does just that, putting all of them in. I can't be behind here, can I? I call and he turns over 6-7 for the flopped straight. Ugh. I need the board to pair to survive. It doesn't, and I don't. Out on the first hand. I dealt that too.

So while everyone else has fun I go watch Steeler highlights on the NFL Network. And have a beer or two to ease the pain. An hour later I'm back in the game and thinking my luck has turned. I win three pots in succession, two of them with the Hammer, which of course I show down as proof of my skillz. With six left and three making the money I'm dealt pocket kings. I raise big and one of the guys' wives calls. The flop comes Q-8-4. I bet, she goes all-in. I call, she has Q-8. An eight on the turn and I'm out. I dealt that motherfucking hand too.

The next tournament I once again make it to the final six. I lose about a third of my stack when I call 2 all-ins with AK, think maybe I have the hand won when the board comes all little cards, but one player has jacks and instead of being chip leader I'm in trouble. A few hands later I have AK again and push. I'm called by the same guy who knocked me out when I had trip fours. This time he has the pocket fours. And he flops a set. Turns a full house. I'm out. And, again, I FUCKING DEALT THE HAND TO MYSELF. Fucking getting PISSED NOW.

I was ready to book, it was getting on 2AM and while I'd been there for six hours I'd actually only sat at the table for about 42 minutes. And I'd drank, oh, 23 beers. But, what the hell, I only had $10 left in my wallet, either give it some company or send it to a new, more loving home. This time one of the guys knocked out early dealt the whole way, so I couldn't stack the deck against myself. Top two paid, and down to three I had to push with AQ. I was up against A-9 and A-6, but I turned a queen and, miracle of miracles, I tripled up. I made the money, pushed with a straight draw that didn't get there and ended up with second and twenty bucks. And a small measure of redemption. Now if I can just learn to deal...

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