Mean Gene

Three Points Are Three Points

I'd wager there are a lot of people in England saying prayers for Wayne Rooney's foot this Sunday. Messeurs Owen and Crouch did not exactly sparkle against Paraguay, and as their only other option up front is a 17-year-old who has zilcho experience, England's hopes pretty rest on how well the scaffolding in Rooney's foot repairs itself. If he can't go, or if he gets hurt five minutes into his return, Sven will be hearing questions about his selections...well, that'll be the main topic of conversation at his funeral. No pressure.

Speaking of pressure, I've been on a bit of a bad streak at the tables. The bad news is that I didn't cash in 7 consecutive SNGs. That's bad. The good news is that in every circumstance I got all my money in with the best hand. That's good. Well, it would've been better if my sets had held up to those flush draws. And that gutshot straight draw. And if my overpair didn't get outflopped. And if I hadn't lost to a 4-flush on the board when me and another dude held AK.

By that time I figured I was cursed and would never win a hand again. But I handled it well, and after crying just a little bit and ninety minutes on the phone with my mother I felt up to another try. This time I was dealt aces on the first hand. With a raise ahead of my I made it like T600 to go, and got four callers. Jesus. The flop came jack high, and when one guy went all-in I figured I'd just have to go bust if he held JJ. What the hell, I could just hit redial and talk to Mommy again. Instead he turned over QJ (QJ?) and I held on to win. From there I defied the laws of nature and got heads-up with a guy WHO USED CAPS WHEN HE TALKED IN CHAT. WHICH HE DID AFTER EVERY HAND. WHATTA DORK. With chips about even I just called with pocket queens and kept playing slow after the flop. A ten on the turn gave me a straight draw as well, and all the money ended up in the middle. But he had 9-10 for two pair, the river didn't help me out, and I was down to T850, while he held T19150. Not good.

But I doubled up with pocket threes, then doubled up again with kings when I again got cute and tried trapping. The flop came with two eights, all the money got in, and he had an eight. Oogh. But I rivered a king to win the pot. I doubled up again with AJ against A-10, then found myself crushed when he flopped two pair and I needed runner-runner to make a straight. I hit the runner-runner. I hacked and slashed my way to the chip lead, and ended up winning when I flopped a set and he pushed.

So, after losing seven consecutive times when I had the best of it and busting out of the money, I win after overcoming a 19-1 deficit thanks to some ludicrous suckouts and great cards. Proving once again that poker is a game of skill, and that I am so very, very talented.

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